You’re scrolling through LinkedIn, feeling good about your day, when BAM! You see someone’s post about landing a massive deal or hitting a milestone you haven’t even started chasing yet. And just like that, the comparison trap snaps shut.
You’re not alone. Comparison is like quicksand—it sucks you in and makes you feel stuck. But here’s the kicker: it doesn’t have to. In fact, comparison can be one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal if you use it right.
Today, I’m handing you a mental Swiss Army knife: The “Compare and Share” Exercise. It flips comparison from a confidence killer into a growth engine. Let’s dig in.
Step 1: Catch the Comparison in Action
Comparison is sneaky. It loves to show up disguised as harmless scrolling. Your job is to call it out.
Here’s how: the next time you catch yourself comparing, hit pause and name the trigger. Be specific:
- “I’m comparing my business growth to theirs.”
- “I feel envious of how polished their launch looked.”
- “They’ve scaled faster, and it’s making me doubt my own strategy.”
Naming it takes the power away. You’re no longer in a fog of negative emotions; you’re in control, ready to deal with it.
Pro Tip: Write down the triggers you notice over the next week. This helps you spot patterns and understand what’s really driving your self-doubt.
Step 2: Shift to Curiosity, Not Judgment
This is where most people get stuck. The default response to comparison is to spiral into Why am I not there yet? But that mindset won’t get you anywhere. Instead, shift into curiosity.
Ask yourself:
- What am I really admiring here? Is it their strategy? Execution? Their team? Their resources?
- What can I learn from their success? Did they adopt a framework or approach I could adapt? Are they leveraging a network or skill I haven’t tapped into yet?
For example:
- Instead of thinking, They’re better at pitching investors than I’ll ever be, reframe it as, What specific tactics are they using in their pitch, and how can I practice those myself?
Curiosity keeps your brain in learning mode. It reminds you that their success is proof of what’s possible—not a reflection of what’s lacking in you.
Step 3: Turn Comparison Into Connection
Here’s where it gets next-level: reach out to the person who inspired (or triggered) your comparison.
Yes, really. Instead of silently comparing, start a conversation.
Try something like:
- “I saw your recent post about scaling your business—congrats! I admire how you’ve navigated [specific challenge]. I’d love to learn more about how you approached it.”
- “Your funding announcement was inspiring. I’ve been working on my own pitch and would appreciate any insights on how you built your momentum.”
Nine times out of ten, people are happy to share their journey. And even if they don’t, the act of reaching out flips your focus from envy to action. You’re no longer stuck in “why not me?” mode—you’re taking steps to grow.
Pro Tip: If reaching out feels intimidating, start by studying their public content. What patterns or strategies can you emulate?
Step 4: Reflect and Apply
After you’ve gathered insights (whether from observation or conversation), it’s time to put them into practice.
Ask yourself:
- What’s one small action I can take today to move closer to this level of success?
- How can I integrate what I’ve learned into my own journey?
Remember, success isn’t a copy-and-paste game. It’s about adapting what works for others to fit your own strengths, values, and goals.
Why This Works
When comparison gets a bad rap, it’s because we use it to measure our worth instead of fueling our growth. The “Compare and Share” exercise changes that. It turns comparison into:
- Clarity: You discover what truly inspires you.
- Connection: You build relationships with people ahead of you in the game.
- Collaboration: You learn how to level up in your own way.
The best part? You stop seeing others as competition and start seeing them as proof of what’s possible.
Your Action Step for Today
Think of one person you’ve been comparing yourself to—someone whose success stings a little but also inspires you.
- Identify the specific trait or achievement you admire.
- Shift to curiosity: What can you learn from their journey?
- Take one step to connect, whether it’s sending a message or observing their strategies.
Comparison isn’t your enemy—it’s a signal. Use it to grow, not to hold yourself back.
What’s Next?
The next time comparison creeps in, don’t let it derail you. Use it as fuel. With practice, you’ll stop seeing others’ wins as a threat and start using them as a roadmap to your own success.
